You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
