Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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