i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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