I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize