my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Swine flu. Run for my life!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
