A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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