My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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