she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
