Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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