i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
