I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
