Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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