I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish I only lived at night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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