i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
