I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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