My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
