i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
