Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
