so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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