You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
