I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
