You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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