I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
