Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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