Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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