apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
