I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
