my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
