i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
