stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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