If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
