oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
