Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I want to fling myself into the sun
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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