omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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