Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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