i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
