She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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