drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
