Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
