Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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