We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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