We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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