Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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