North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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