he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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