no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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