Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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