She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
