Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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