Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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