I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got chris browned last night
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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