I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
