HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
